Thursday, June 27, 2013

Trusting God even when it hurts!

"The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."

Job 1:21

   Recently I went to a woman's bible study that was talking about Trust. Trusting God when it hurts to trust Him. This has always been an area of weakness for me, a battle that is difficult for me to face. For how can you trust a God that has taken so much from you away?  How can you face the hurt, the scars and battle it in knowing that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose."? Is it really good when you lose someone that you love dearly?

   It all sank in when the author talked about losing her sister Amy in a fire when she was 5. How she battled with depression for years after... it sounded so similar, like I had heard it all before. The tears came rolling down my cheeks as I sat there and listened.

  Surely, I know the verses, what it all means to trust God. But the act of trusting God for me is still difficult. Every day I wake up struggling. The heaviness of my heart is still there. The pain of losing the ones that I love is still there. I fight the temptation of losing hope, of losing trust.

   My own story has an Amy in it. She was my best friend in childhood. My closest, most treasured friend I ever had. She was the one who brought me to Christ. She was the one who taught me how to love everyone around me, the one that taught me that dancing in the rain is a beautiful, timeless treasure. Her favorite color, was sunshine. And yet, she lost hope. She lost trust in the One that we loved dearly, and she hung herself in her last days.

   Not too long after I also lost my father. In his last days, he emphatically told us all that he did not know or love God, and that he didn't care that he was going to Hell. In our church parking lot, he shot himself.

   So much I understand when a friend tells me what has been hurting them. When they open up and share that a loved one will probably be going to jail, their parents are going through a messy divorce, when they share that they were abused as a child, when a loved one died, or comitted suicide, when they lost their favorite pet, when they wonder where their next meal is coming from, I can be there with them, because I know their pain.

   So many times, I was angry. I threw my fist at God and told Him that He was wrong for putting me through so much pain. I wanted a better life, and He had given me so very little! Oh, how selfish I was and how foolish.

   It wasn't until recently that I learned to look at my pain through a different lens. Christ did not come here and have a perfect life - no! He came and died for our sins so that we may share in His glory to come! He went through every temptation known to man, He almost starved to death in the wilderness, He was perfect - and yet He died with our sins upon His head. He died feeling abandoned by the one who had never abandoned Him before, the one who He loved more then any other - God, so that we might share in His glory!

   If Christ could go through all of this pain and yet still trust in the outcome, then who am I to not trust God in everything? Who am I to throw what God has given me back in His face and tell him that it is not enough! I was reading through 1 Peter the other day and I happened upon this verse:

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed."
1 Peter 4:12-13

   We share in Christ's sufferings in this world because we are loved by Christ. And through our suffering, we may find joy, because Christ has overcome the pain and the suffering, and made something beautiful from the ashes of this world. And we may find hope because Christ has done this for us.

"And he said unto them, Why are you fearful, O you of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm."

Matthew 8:26

   Christ has His plans for us, He knows what is best for us, and He chooses to work in mysterious ways for our benefit. And so we must learn to trust Him.

   Recently, I sat up all night pondering what I should focus on to help me trust God more, application, as my pastor would call it! And then it came to me. I call it the TRUST sandwich, and I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me! =)

T - Thank God for all of your blessings

   I find that when I am most untrusting is when I am most unthankful. Thankfulness and trust seem to go hand in hand! Next time you are feeling the urge to not trust God in everything, start counting your blessings, and see what God has done! You will find that He is truly amazing!

R - Read your Bible often!

   I really can't stress this one enough. When you're in the word, you see how gloomy it got for Joseph before the dawn broke, you see how much pain that David went through before he was in glory, you see Daniel almost eaten by lions, you see Job lose everything - and then in the end get everything returned to him in even greater number! It's amazing what these heroes in our Bible's went through! And I know for me it reminds me in my weakest moments, that God is using this for His glory! Somehow, the pain I am experiencing today will bring a brighter tomorrow, all we must do is trust!

U - Understand God's promises

   One of my favorite stories is The Lord of the Rings. If you read/watch the story, things get really gloomy for Sam and Frodo. They travel against all odds to destroy the greatest evil, and yet in the end, they make it! At the end of Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Samwise Gamgee says:

"I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

What are we holding on to Sam?

That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for!"

   Just as in Lord of the Rings, (the great evil is destroyed in the end) - in the next world to come, all evil will be destroyed! God will have beaten the odds and we can trust in that! Isn't that a great promise? There are so many promises in scripture for us! Every time I feel a bit down I like to meditate on some of the promises that God has given us! Here are a few that I personally treasure.

""For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Galtians 6:9

"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

Isaiah 40:31

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:28

S - Savor every moment

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 6: 25-34

    I remember the first time I read this passage thinking: "but surely God you wouldn't want me to stop worrying about everything! Wouldn't that be irresponsible?" I think what God meant when this passage was written was not "be irresponsible and completely forget all of your responsibilities," but! We often find ourselves (especially us women), worrying about every tiny detail ("well what if X goes wrong what do I do then?" Etc.) This is the kind of worrying that I think God is telling us to not do. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

    Learn to live in the moment. Relish every beautiful treasure in the moment. Do not worry about tomorrow, but worry/focus on the here and now. That's the message. Trust that God holds the future, and that He has your best interest in mind, and savor what He has given you in the here and now.

T - Trash your selfish wants and desires

   I've always believed in saving the best for last, and this one for me is the most difficult. We see what we want, it's right in front of us, and (being the go-getter that I am) we decide to reach out and grab it! But wait! Is this really what God wanted me to go after? Often, it's not.

   It's when you really want _____ (fill the blank in here), but you're not sure it's really what God wants, you're not sure it's for the best, but you want it, so you're going to go get it anyway... Yeah, this is often when we(I) get into trouble.

   For example: yes, you see that awesome Godly person over there who happens to be single? Guess what, they're probably someone else's future spouse! Stop drooling over them!

   You see that boat in the catalog that looks so amazing but you just don't have the funds for? Well maybe God doesn't want you to take out a loan to buy it... maybe He wants you to be happy with what you have.

   It's when we become infatuated with some item/person and it's not really what God has in store for us that we get into trouble. Learning to trust God that He has what is best for us, and not learning to trust in our desires/wants is probably one of the most difficult trust lessons that God could teach us... but it is one of the most important!

In summary...

Let us learn to:
T - Thank God for all of our blessings
R - Read our Bibles often
U - Understand God's promises
S - Savor every moment and,
T - Trash our selfish desires and wants

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.


Monday, August 27, 2012

Sorry to those who were looking for my art website and could not find it. Here is the link: =)

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Death by Chocolate

This cake I have been wanting to try to make for a very long time as I enjoy eating it a LOT!

It's name? Death by Chocolate. It is every chocolate lover's dream cake.

Here is the recipe:

Death by Chocolate Cake




CHOCOLATE BROWNIE LAYER (May Subst with Boxed Brownie Mix)



  • 14 ounces semisweet chocolate, in 1/2 oz pieces
  • 4 ounces unsweetened chocolate, in 1/2 oz pieces
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 4 tablespoons instant coffee
  • 2 tablespoons cocoa, sifted
  • 5 egg whites
  • 2 tablespoons granulated sugar
  • 3/4 cup heavy cream



Before you Start

1. Trace a 9-in circle onto parchment paper using a cardboard cake circle and put it onto a baking sheet.


1. Put the 4 egg whites, cream of tartar, and salt into the electric mixer bowl. Whip on high (using the balloon whip attachment) until soft peaks fom - about 45 to 50 seconds.

2. Gradually add 1 cup sugar while still on high. Continue to whip until the peaks are stiff, about another 1 1/2 minutes.

3. Remove the bowl and use a spatula to fold in and thoroughly combine the remaining 1/4 cup sugar, 2 tbsp cocoa, and 1 tbsp cornstarch.

4. Fill a pastry bag with the cocoa meringue (if you have no pastry bag, fill a ziploc bag and snip off one of the corners). Fill the traced parchment circle with meringue: start piping in the center and spiral outwards so that the whole circle is filled.

5. Place the meringue in the oven and bake for 15 minutes. Then lower the oven temperature to 200°F and bake for 2 hour, 45 minutes more.

6. Remove the meringue for the oven and let it cool on a rack for about 45 minutes before handling. Raise the oven temperature to 325°F.


1. You can begin preparing this while the meringue is baking and cooling. Heat 1 inch of water in the bottom half of a double boiler over medium heat (If you are not fortunate enough to own a double boiler, just stack a small saute pan on top of a small sauce pan. The lip of the saute pan should be just a bit wider than the sauce pan so that no steam escapes. Be very careful to keep any moisture out of your chocolate while you are melting it, or else it will seize and be very difficult to work with).

2. Place 6 oz of semi-sweet chocolate in the top of the double boiler and tightly cover the top with plastic wrap (do not allow the wrap to touch the bottom half).

3. Allow the chocolate to melt slowly, about 9 to 10 minutes. Remove from heat and stir until smooth. Keep at room temperature until needed.

4. Place 1 1/2 cups heavy cream in the well-chilled bowl of an electic mixer. Whip on high (using the balloon whip attachment) until peaks form, about 1 minute. Set aside.

5. Whisk 3 eggs whites in a large stainless steel bowl, until soft peaks form (about 3 minutes).

6. Add 2 tablespoons of sugar and continue to whisk until stiff peaks form, about 2 to 2 1/2 minutes.

7. Add a quarter of the heavy cream to the chocolate and whisk quickly, vigorously, and thoroughly, then add it to the eggs whites. Now add the remaining heavy cream. Fold everything together gently but thoroughly, and put it in the fridge until needed (for at least 2 hours).


1. Make sure that the oven is still set to 325°F

2. Butter a 9 x 1 1/2 inch cake pan, then coat it with flour (shake out any excess).

3. Sift together 1/4 cup flour, 2 tbsp cocoa powder, 1 tsp baking powder, and 1/3 tsp salt a small bowl, and set aside.

4. Set up another double boiler. Place the 3 oz unsweetened chocolate, 4 tbsp butter, and 2 oz semi-sweetened chocolate in the top half.

5. Tightly cover the top with plastic wrap, and heat for about 4 1/2 to 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir until smooth.

6. Put 3 eggs, 1 cup sugar, and 1 tsp vanilla extract in an electric mixer. Whip on high (using the balloon whip attachment) until slightly thickened, about 1 1/2 minutes.

7. Add the melted chocolate mixture to the egg mixture and mix on medium for 30 seconds.

8. Add the sifted dry ingredients and mix on low for 10 seconds, then on medium for 10 seconds.

9. Add the sour cream and mix on medium for 5 seconds.

10. Remove the bowl and use a spatula to thoroughly combine any unmixed elements.

11. Pour the batter into the prepared care pan, spreading evenly. Gently bang it down on the table a few time to help level out the batter.

12. Bake in the oven until an inserted toothpick comes out clean, about 35 minutes.

13. Remove and allow to cool for about 5 minutes, then refrigerate for 15 to 20 minutes.

14. Remove the brownies from the fridge and use a 9 inch cardboard cake circle to trim off the edges and make your rectangle a circle. Now, cut it in half horizontally: if it is still in the pan, take it out and cut it so that you have a top half and a bottom half, both of which are still 9 inch circles.


1. Heat 1 1/2 cups heavy cream and 3 tbsp butter in a 2 1/2 quart saucepan over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil.

2. Put 22 oz semi-sweet chocolate in a stainless steel bowl. Pour the boiling cream over the chocolate and allow to stand for 5 minutes. Stir until smooth.


1. Set up another double boiler.

2. Put 14 oz of semi-sweet chocolate, 4 oz unsweetened chocolate, 1/2 cup water, instant coffee, and 2 tbsp cocoa in the top half of the double boiler.

3. Tightly cover with plastic wrap and heat for about 6 to 7 minutes, remove, and stir until smooth.

4. Put 5 egg whites in an electric mixer. Whip on high (with the balloon whip attachment) until soft peaks form, about 1 minute.

5. Continue to whip while gradually adding 2 tbsp sugar. Whip an additional 30 seconds or so, until stiff.

6. Whip 3/4 cup heavy cream in a chilled stainless steel bowl until stiff.

7. Fold a fourth of the egg whites into the melted chocolate mixture, then fold in the whipped cream. Fold in the remaining egg whites.


1. Heat 6 oz butter in a 2 1/2 qt saucepan over medium heat.

2. Once melted, add 1 1/3 cups sugar, 1 1/3 cups heavy cream, 8 tbsp cocoa, 2 tbsp rum, and 1/4 tsp salt. Whisk to combine.

3. Bring to a boil and lower the heat, then allow to simmer for 5 minutes. Stir occasionally.

4. Remove the saucepan from heat. Add 4 tsp instant coffee, 1 tsp vanilla, and 1 tbsp rum. Stir until smooth.

5. Allow to cool before serving.


1. Put a closed 9x3 inch springform pan on a baking sheet.

2. Carefully place the top half of the brownie circle inside, topside up.

3. Ladle 1 1/2 cups of ganache over the brownie layer. (If the ganache has solidified, put the bowl in a pan of hot water and stir until the correct texture is achieved).

4. Use a knife to trim off any of the cocoa meringue that got outside of the 9 inch circle you traced underneath it.

5. Then peel off the parchment paper and very carefully place the meringue, top-side up, inside of the pan. Press down gently to eliminate air pockets.

6. Spoon the mocha mousse evenly on top of the cocoa meringue.

7. Place the remaining chocolate brownie half, bottom side down, on top of the mocha mousse.

8. Chill the cake in the fridge for 1 hr, or in the freezer for 30 minutes.

9. Take out the cake and cut along the inside of the pan to release it.

10. Pour the remaining ganache over the cake and use an icing spreader to spread the ganache evenly over the top and sides.

11. Put the cake back into the fridge for another 10 to 15 minutes to set the ganache.

12. Fill a pastry bag fitted with a large star tip (Once again, use a ziploc bag if you do not have this. you will not be able to achieve the same decorative effects, but practice a few times on a plate and you can use this system to make little bulbs or a criss-cross pattern on the top).

13. Pipe a circle of stars (each closely touching the other) along the outside edge of the top of the cage. Circle inwards until the cake is covered. Refrigerate the cake for at least 4 hours (12 is preferable) before serving.

14. To serve, run a serrated knife under hot water between each time you slice the cake. Arrange the slice on a decorative plate (larger slice/smaller servings will stand upright better and look nicer).

15. Flood the plate with 3-4 tbsp of the Mocha Rum Sauce, and serve with a smile.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Knack. ;)

So my poor darling brother has "the knack." Yep. You guessed who. Jason. ;)

Here's a video on "the knack" that I promise is so funny, it's worth every minute of your time. =)

Enjoy! =D

P.s. I shall try and post on my Christmas break soon! =)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Christmas Cheer! =D

Finals are over,
Break is here!
Ring it out loud,
The Christmas cheer!

Yes, Christmas is here in the Kent household and work and school for me ended last night! Now I can have a break to spend some time with my family!

Life is good! =D

Here is a picture of all of us together:

May God bless you richly in this Christmas season and the coming year ahead!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Jesus is the reason for the season! =D

Hello all! Sorry that I haven't posted of late, I shall try and make up for it this month as I will be home! =D

This past week my family went to Busch Gardens to celebrate Christmas Town. It was fun to go there with our church friends with all of the lights and caroling and Christmas goodies. I was very impressed with many of the songs that were sung. Santa was barely mentioned, yet, the traditional Christmas hymns/carols were sang with full gusto. More and more I come to appreciate that we live amidst the Bible belt.

While at the theme park we had fun riding on roller coasters, drinking coffee, eating cheesecake (and other Christmas treats) and singing Christmas carols. There was even an awesome Scottish man with his bagpipes there! =D

The first thing that we noticed when we came there was the awesome lights. The Christmas tree was spectacular as there were lights that blank along to the Christmas music. Here is a picture of some of the lights that were there. (There were a lot of colored ones there that were amazing but no one took pictures of them. . . oh well. ;) )

The next thing that we did was that everyone went to go ride the Griffin. The Griffin is a fun roller coaster as it goes a few hundred feet in the air and then brings you down with a few loops at the end. Last but not least, generally at least one person gets sprayed with water. ;)

After the ride we were all smiling and happy. It really is a lot of fun to go on the Griffin! =D

When we were finished riding the Griffin we all ate dinner together and went to watch a few shows. The shows were again, very well done and I enjoyed the whole day immensely! =)


We have been decorating our house and have been making Christmas goodies. Last night we put up the nativity scene to Christmas carols and made some delicious cookies and chocolate chip cheesecake bars.

Tonight we're going to get the tree! =D

And today, is my last day for two of my classes. After today I only have three more classes to finish up, I'm excited! =D

Christmas is coming, and it's going to be an amazing God-blessed day!

Merry Christmas everybody! =D

P.S: I'm thinking about getting a camera soon. . . I'm currently leaning towards the Nikon D60 with a Nikkor 60mm lens, but I'm not sure. What do y'all think?